Your Therapist Shouldn't Have an Agenda

When looking for a therapist there are several factors to consider in finding a good match for you. Therapy is about you. You enter therapy with an idea of what you hope to get out of it. A therapist's role is to provide objective feedback to help you better understand and clarify what your issues are, and to help you consider all the options that are available to work towards your goal. A therapist should assist you in completing a thorough cost-benefit analysis of all possible options to help you achieve your goal and support you on this journey. A therapist should not advise you with personal opinions or subjective feedback regarding the goal you choose, or the option undertake to pursue it. As an example, a client enters therapy to address their alcohol use with the goal of cutting back on his use. After assessing the client's alcohol use the Therapist makes the diagnosis of a severe Alcohol Use Disorder and recommends the client consider abstinence and begin attending Alcoholic Anonymous meetings. Upon hearing this recommendation, the client informs the therapist that he is not interested in abstinence or attending meetings and wishes to work on cutting back on his use. To this request the Therapist responds "In my experience, all of my clients that present with a severe alcohol problem like yours are not successful in cutting back. I strongly recommend that you consider total abstinence to avoid unnecessary problems in the future due to alcohol." Even if well intended, therapist feedback such as this is misguided and reflects the therapist's attempt to redefine the client's goal. Certainly, your therapist should provide you with their professional recommendation and all the potential benefits and pitfalls of all choices available to you. However, the final decision is yours, and you should not be left feeling inadequate because of your therapist's feedback. Even if your therapist disagrees with your decision, you should always feel supported with a sense of "my therapist is in my corner."