Teens challenging their parents is not always flat-out defiance over rules. It's a developmental task in testing the waters of separating from their parents as they grapple with new insights about themselves and the world (thanks to the
gift of abstract thought as their brain matures through this period) As parents, we get accustomed to our kids listening to most of our commands and requests from before they could talk. Is this parenting easier? Of course! Shouldn't we want our teens to always listen to us? No we should not. Why? Do you want your teen being a little robot who always does as told without questioning or not feeling confident in communicating their feelings and opinions? If not then what to do? Allow your teen to feel comfortable in pushing back against rules or requests that they do not like. This does NOT mean letting them have their way or letting them walk all over you. Teach them how to negotiate. Encourage and allow them to express their opinion on a subject even if you know you will not agree (ex: letting them use alcohol or marijuana as they please) Don't shut them down. Explain why you disagree with them and as their parent you have the final say in certain teen matters. End by telling them they did a good job communicating their opinion and negotiating for themselves. Later down the line you will witness the fruits of your labor!
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